This post gives a little more background, a little more insight into my conversations with God, a little more insight into details that just make this story so very rich!!
Like I mentioned in part 1, I’ve never had such continual conversation with God. It took a few days to really process it. Truth be told, I think I still am! I was helped by a phone conversation with my friend, Michelle, as always. Here are some lessons I’m learning about how I perceive God and some of what He said to me:
- Why won’t you ask for big?
- You only ask for safe – what you know will be a yes answer.
- Are you afraid I can’t handle it? You keep it small to keep it “easy” for Me.
- You want to see Me do big things, but you won’t ask for big things from Me.
- You don’t have because you don’t ask.
- You know I don’t have to, so you don’t ask. Are you afraid I won’t?
- You really don’t want to have to deal with the disappointment of a “no” or of My timing being different from yours. So you don’t ask, so you don’t have to deal with that. But in the “safe” you miss the adventure. You miss the BIG that I can be.
- You’ve put Me in a box
- If you ask anything in My Name, I will do it.
How many “monuments” do I miss out on having because I am afraid to ask??
We have one big one in the living room, daily staring us in the face now!
How many more could I have?
My biggest take-away: I have created a “safe” God. I don’t want to give Him anything tooo difficult. Well, not difficult, but I just tend to stay in the safe zone. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that if I pray His promise He will answer with a yes. He promises to meet our needs. That’s not tough for me. I’ve got faith for that. It’s the “extras” – the flat screens – I have trouble with. Because those aren’t guaranteed. So I’m scared to ask. And, truth be told, I’m not sure I deserve the extras. But my fear also robs me of the amazement I can have when God does something amazing! I don’t have because I don’t ask. I don’t see beyond, because I don’t ask beyond. I caught myself again going the “safe” route today as I was praying. Started asking for big, then went small, just to make sure it wasn’t toooo hard! Silly ME!
I struggled with this same concept when we were trying to get pregnant. Tim’s Mom was always so encouraging, so certain we’d have kids. When I was walking through that valley, all I could think of was, “There’s no verse that promises ‘thou shalt have kids’.” True. But God does promise to give us the desires of our heart if we are delighting in Him.
To make the Un-Stinkin’ Believable story even more rich, you have to know that my friend
actually won this TV at her husband’s company Christmas party.
Through a long series of circumstances she still had it.
God had put us on her heart, so when she couldn’t take it back she brought it over.
She said she actually was hoping they wouldn’t take it so that she could bring it over.
Come to find out, Nathan had been praying for a flat screen! Who knew?! And Tim resisted the urge to get one awhile ago, because it wasn’t a priority in the budget, so God rewarded Tim’s discipline!
How precious!! I love being able to share the stories on both sides and see God’s hand weaving such a beautiful tapestry. Had she come in December it still would have been amazing, but not as specific a message to our family. Not such a demonstration of God’s hand at work – in both families!!
Here’s what I wrote in my journal: God, I don’t want to put You in a box. I know You will provide for our needs, so I ask that. I don’t know how You will, I just trust that You will answer these specific requests. And I will praise You and trust You even if you say NO to some of the big requests that aren’t just needs. I continue to ask for eyes to see Your provision. I continue to ask for exceedingly abundantly above all I could ask or think – for YOUR glory and praise!!
PS – today I found a penny, a dime, and a quarter. 🙂
Look out world, I’m prayin’ BIG!!
I’m prayin’ UN STINKIN BELIEVABLE!!
CUZ THAT’S THE GOD I HAVE!!