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Wait! Not that word!

waiting…

waiting for the next word,

the next drop of ink that begins something new.

read here to get that storyPen

Sometimes The Word writes slowly

a flowing script,

a gentle steady pace,

and I see every upstroke, downstroke, and curve as it happens.

Looking  back I see how each letter blended together to make a beautiful word

but…

Sometimes The Word stamps!

a complete word.

quickly.

in one complete motion.

jarring.  vibrating.  splintering.

an unexpected sudden mountain

in the otherwise pleasantly smooth landscape.

And my heart cries

Wait! Not that word!

That word doesn’t fit my dreams and plans!

That word changes my daily routine!

I know that word, and

it brings unknown.

It’s happened beforeTake The Land

But I also know The Word

and I know His Word

and the promises that

His Ways are higher than mine

so I can trust Him with the next chapter

even when it doesn’t look like I want it to.

and I’m thankful He prepared me for itquiet time

But I have to say, peeps,
as poetic and heartwarming as those words sound,
I’m a master at flashing my pearly whites,
blinding you to the fact that
inside I feel like I’m watching dreams die.
This is one tough lesson in the discipline of obedience and faith for me!
I’m waiting for my heart to catch up to my head.

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5 Minutes on DIVE

It’s 5 Minute Friday. Write for 5 minutes on one topic. Go.

DIVE

Well, really more like STEP – as in step out of the boat
or it could be DIVE in there and dig up that buried talent.

Yes, I said buried talent – as in the guy Jesus talked about who dug a hole and put his talent in it
because he was afraid.

That was me these past few weeks.

I have a treasure and I’ve wanted to hang on to that treasure. Because to use it means the certainty of it goes away. Yes, it would be helpful to me and enjoyable to me. But when it’s gone, it’s gone and I have no guarantee I can continue.

I’m talking about my precious gift certificate for 4 more weeks of HEW. (You can read the whole story here.)

God convicted me that I was operating in fear by not using that.
So next week I start back.
It’s a DIVE – A step out of the boat, like Peter.
And just like a kid on the high dive, I’m a little apprehensive!

Do I have any opportunities for income on the horizon? No.
Might this be my last 4 weeks at HEW? Yes
Does God want me to step out and enjoy them without worry or fear? Yes
So I will.

I’m DIVING into this treasure. And I’m DIVING into exploring income-generating opportunities for me. Since my 1st priority is homeschooling the boys, it has to be just the right opportunity.

Mostly, I’m DIVING into a deeper dependence on God. (more on that in a later post!)

Time’s up.

 
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Posted by on January 11, 2013 in 5 Minute Fridays

 

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21 words on godly heritage

Grandpa (80+)

 preaches in Philadelphia

 topic: “God uses you at any age”

 while Nathan (13)

 co-teaches a lesson

 in middle school service.

 So thankful for a godly heritage!


 
9 Comments

Posted by on May 10, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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For & From

We’ve got ’em both.
Wanna know the hardest part for me?
Not being a control freak!
I need to let God be in charge of that – not easy for me!
But I don’t know why it’s not easy when I see what He does so consistently!!

What are you fasting FROM – that’s the easy part. And the boys did a good job of coming up with things that really are a bit of a sacrifice for them (after they found out fasting veggies and school work weren’t really options!:-)) toasted cheese, electronics, sweets, sodas. And one even decided to get in bed early for a week.

What are you fasting FOR – little harder question. Yet that’s the focus of this fast – what God has FOR them, not what God wants from them (Todd Mullins). Again, God put something on each one of their hearts: praying to love enemies (maybe memorizing the Sermon on the Mount had something to do with that one), not yell when frustrated, or have a respectful response even when something isn’t going down the way you want it to.

This preparation time has brought about some precious conversation – individually – with each little man. We often have good group conversation, but talking one-on-one is harder. Last night as I tucked 2 of them in (I’m thankful they still like that!), I had a conversation with each one about the upcoming fast. One of the boys made a great analogy of food being like God & Satan. Good food is hard to eat, just like doing things God’s way. Junk food is easy to eat and tastes good, but it’s bad for you, just like sin. The other one talked about how, in his opinion, fasting his favorite TV show was more of a sacrifice than fasting all TV except that show.

Earlier in the day I was able to share with one of my little men (who isn’t so little any more!) what God had shown me about Living Water. He then shared how God had used a song to minister to him as he was frustrated and struggling with something in his life. “Oh, I’m running to Your arms…the riches of Your love will always be enough.” That brought him to the point of surrender – even if it’s tough, Lord, if You want me to I will.

I’m thankful for these times when I see growth in the boys.
It always happens when I take my hands off!
It’s what God has FOR me
to see that He is so much better at directing their hearts than I am!

 
11 Comments

Posted by on March 27, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Love=Confrontation?

Seriously?
Here we are with another seeming contradiction!
Isn’t confrontation ugly, “in-your-face”, loud, something to stay away from?

It wasn’t in Mark 10:17-19.
What does Jesus show us about love and confrontation?

  • Jesus was gentle. He didn’t start with confrontation. In v. 17-20 He met a man who came running to Him asking questions. He answered those questions.
  • Jesus recognized the greater need. In v. 20 the guy was still hanging around. Jesus knew the guy wanted more. Enter verse 21 – WOW!
This is where scripture just jumped off the page for me. (Oh I love that!)
I’ve heard this story lots of times before, but as I read it this time, the phrase
Then Jesus looking at him, LOVED HIM, and said…” leaped up at me.
  • Jesus was willing to confront because he LOVED this guy. And the guy was a stranger.
  • Jesus confronted regardless of the outcome. The guy was sad at what Jesus said and went away sorrowful. Doesn’t appear in this passage that the confrontation produced change, but that didn’t stop Jesus from having a hard, honest conversation with this rich young ruler.

We’re trying to teach our boys this principle of being willing to have hard, honest conversations with others, but with gentleness and love. Our oldest has had a few chances to practice this (although, I have to say, I’m amazed at how quickly things get “talked” out. I’m not sure they should really be classified as “conversations”! In fact, one time the other mom & I spent more time talking about how the boys didn’t talk very long than they did actually talking things out!! 🙂

In today’s politically correct society, I believe we have gotten to the point where we think the loving thing to do is not to offend. Jesus showed us something different in Mark. He did not intentionally try to offend the rich young ruler, but he didn’t shy away from telling the truth and confronting the guy at his point of need. God brought that home to me a few years ago. My friend and I had talked about God a lot, but I wasn’t sure if she truly had a relationship with Him. Then I was afraid of offending her by asking if she did. God convicted me that even if she were offended, that was better than the alternative of spending eternity separated from God! Sometimes our willingness to confront someone actually demonstrates the greatest love for them.
Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
We can’t do much sharpening of each other if we’re afraid of the sparks.
Love is willing to confront the way Jesus did.
Do you have any hard conversations you need to have? Pray up, then speak the truth in love!
 
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Posted by on March 14, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Empty

go –

The house is EMPTY.
Grandparents are gone – back to their home.
And we’re all sad. Things are dull, boring.

As I contemplated the difference in atmosphere after Grandma & Grandpa left,
I thought about the difference in atmosphere God wants in my life.
I need to be empty of me.
I am dull without Him. I am sad without Him.

Being empty of me allows space for Him. He is joy, light, strength, wisdom, – everything I’m not!

stop –

 
2 Comments

Posted by on March 9, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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21 Words of Praise

There’s a song in my heart

Praise God from whom all blessings flow

And I cannot contain the flood!

 
8 Comments

Posted by on March 8, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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